Artwork credit: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Yearly Archives: 2011
The Bible Shows Why Prayer Doesn’t Work
I think I’ve figured it out! The Bible itself makes clear why prayer doesn’t work, and the clues are all from within the same gospel, Matthew.
I’ve heard stories of people in fast food restaurants who aren’t content to simply pray to themselves but stand and pray aloud for everyone’s benefit. Jesus isn’t keen on these pretentious people.
When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matt. 6:5–6)
But later in the same book, Jesus says something different.
If two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. (Matt. 18:19–20)
There’s the problem—prayer requires both a gathering and being by yourself.
No wonder it never works!
Photo credit: Wikipedia
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Word of the Day: Hoare’s Dictum
Sir Charles Hoare was a pioneer in computer science. He observed:
There are two methods in software design. One is to make the program so simple, there are obviously no errors. The other is to make it so complicated, there are no obvious errors.
This applies to logical arguments as well: you can make the argument so simple that there are obviously no errors. Or you can make it so complicated that there are no obvious errors.
A simple, straightforward argument for God’s existence might be, “Of course God exists. He’s sitting right over there!” Many arguments claim to be simple and straightforward—“the Bible is obviously correct” or “God obviously exists” for example—but are mere assertions rather than arguments backed with evidence.
Lots of apologetic arguments fall on the wrong side of this Hoare’s Dictum. The Transcendental Argument, for example, is often a five-minute dissertation about what grounds logic and whether a mind must exist to hold it.
The Ontological Argument goes like this. First we define “God” as the greatest possible being that we can imagine. Two: consider existence only in someone’s mind versus existence in reality—the latter is obviously greater. Three: since “God” must be the greatest possible being, he must exist in reality. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t meet his definition as the greatest possible being.
When hit with an argument like this for the first time, you’re left scratching your head, unsure what to conclude. These arguments are effective not because they’re correct (in fact, they fall apart under examination) but because they’re confusing.
The colloquial version of the argument is:
If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, then baffle ’em with bullshit.
Photo credit: Microsoft
Related posts:
- See all the definitions in the Cross Examined Glossary.
Related links:
- “Hoare’s Dictum” has been defined in computer science as, “Premature optimization is the root of all evil,” so perhaps this use should be Hoare’s Second Dictum.
End of the World (Again)
Hey gang! This has been great fun, but today is the last day for this blog. Of course, that’s because this is the last day for everything. God ends the world today.
I hope you took advantage of my “Only 21 More Shopping Days Till the End of the World” post and got those nagging last-minute items off your to-do list. (If you need background on why today is the grand finale, check out that post.)
The parchment above is a relic showing some of many, many failed attempts at predicting the end of the world, going all the way back to the gospel story itself, in which Jesus says,
Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.
It’s been close to 2000 years since those “standing here” reportedly heard those words. Oops!
So, there won’t be a tomorrow tomorrow … unless, of course, this is just the latest in a long list of pathetic, groundless predictions for the end of the world.
In which case, c’mon back for more polite but pointed critiques of Christianity!
Artwork credit: Kyle Hepworth
Related posts and links:
- The Skeptics Annotated Bible has long list of gospel predictions of the imminent end.
- “Lest we forget” is a video with clips of Camping’s claims.
- Jessica Fostvedt, “Doomsday, Apocalypse, and Rapture, Oh my!” Scientific American, 10/7/11.
- Stephanie Pappas, “Preacher still says Oct. 21 for end of world,” MSNBC, 10/14/11.
- Benjamin Radford, “10 Failed Doomsday Predictions,” LiveScience, 11/04/09.
Atheist Toast
Televangelists Prove Prayer Is Useless
Do you ever watch televangelists? It’s one long infomercial that always ends with a direct appeal in two parts: please pray for us, and send lots of cash, as much as you can.
But why bother with the request for money? People who have the ear of the almighty creator of the universe can tap into a whole lot more than whatever’s in their wallets. Who cares about trifling financial donations when you can get help from the Big Man himself?
Indeed, televangelists’ appeals for money make clear that they know what I know: that praying is like waiting for the Great Pumpkin. People can reliably deliver money, but prayer doesn’t deliver anything.
This reminds me of a quote from that persuasive theologian, George Carlin. About God, he says,
But he loves you! He loves you … and he needs money! He always needs money. He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise … but somehow he just can’t handle money.
It starts about one minute into this piece. (Caution: the dialogue is a bit R-rated. It is George Carlin, after all.)
Photo credit: Wikipedia
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