In part 1, I summarized the latest in John Hagee’s “Four Blood Moons” hysteria, which is to culminate with Sunday’s lunar eclipse (totality begins 7:11pm Seattle time).
So what is supposed to happen?
We’ve seen a lot of vague handwaving, but let’s get specific. Reverend Hagee, tell us precisely what will happen and when. Hagee tells us, “The coming four blood moons points to a world-shaking event that will happen between April 2014 and October 2015.”
Okay, but that’s rather vague. Hagee says, “God is literally screaming at the world, ‘I’m coming soon.’”
Surely the creator of the universe can do better? “Something is about to change,” according to the book’s subtitle.
Hagee’s situation is like that in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon. Ren reveals the History Eraser button, and Stimpy asks what will happen if someone presses it. Ren says, “That’s just it—we don’t know! Maybe something bad, maybe something good.” Likewise, Hagee doesn’t know what God is saying will happen—maybe something bad, maybe something good.
Perhaps the purpose of the book wasn’t to enlighten the flock but (dare I say it?) to make money. It turns out that Pastor Hagee wasn’t the first to think up the four blood moons idea, though you wouldn’t know it from his recent movie, where he claims to have come up with this connection. When there’s chum in the water, the sharks will come, and for Pastor Hagee, cash is chum.
Others have piled on and predicted financial disaster after the end of Shemitah (didn’t happen—the Dow was up on the next trading day). Unsurprisingly, those financial prophets didn’t conclude that their game is groundless. One pundit decided that God simply doesn’t want to make himself predictable. It’s clear that no lesson has been learned, and the next breathless, invented crisis is inevitable.
One element of this hysteria is a “the sky is falling” attitude. Prophecy-hungry Christians point to the bad news of the moment—the Iran nuclear deal, the progress of ISIS, Ebola, police shootings, droughts and forest fires, and same-sex marriage—and imagine that these are the signs of the End.
No, that’s not bad. You want bad? How about the Thirty Years’ War (1618–48) that killed between three and eleven million people in Europe? That was bad. Or how about 1942–43 when it looked like the Axis powers might succeed and carve up the world? Or the 1918 flu pandemic that killed up to 100 million people? Or the Black Death in Europe (1346–53), which killed 20% of the world’s population?
Sorry, Christian apocalypticists, same-sex marriage doesn’t compare.
Remember when you were a kid in history class, and you asked why you had to learn all that stuff? This is why. It’s so you can be immune from people who are ignorant of the events like these—events so world-shakingly huge that they plausibly could have signaled an end of the world.
Consequences
I believe a quote from the Good Book is relevant here.
The prophet who speaks a word presumptuously in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die. (Deuteronomy 18:20)
Wow—that’s tough love. I imagine pastor David Berzins, who is eager to stone gays to death, would be happy to carry out that punishment if Hagee’s prophecies don’t come true.
Hagee has to walk a fine line. He must be specific enough to mesmerize his flock into buying his books and mailing in checks but not so specific that he could be easily called on a prophecy when it doesn’t come to pass. That was the error that Harold Camping made. He spent $100 million on advertising a very specific date for the Rapture, May 21, 2011. Things became uncomfortable when May 22 arrived just like any other day.
Hagee has been planning this for several years, and the last blood moon is just a day away. There must be a crescendo at his web site, right? No—we find as just one more ad in the lineup, “The final blood moon is coming … are you ready?”
Ready? Ready for what? Whatever happens, Hagee will declare victory and look for the chance to launch some new apocalyptic message so we can get good and scared all over again. John Hagee becomes Pastor Freddie Krueger of the (Nightmare on) Elm Street Church. Like the groundless claims in Pastor John Oliver’s recent and much-missed megachurch, Hagee’s far-reaching but empty claims are, incredibly, all legal.
If there were justice where you could pull a stunt like this once but then you’d lose all credibility, I wouldn’t mind. The problem is, there will be no consequences. While it will be amusing seeing Hagee and others tap dance away from their claims, no one will stone them. Their flock will continue to do what they’re told. Hagee has a new book out, and he’ll refocus on that. While I wonder how Hagee can live with himself, I think the whole thing will look like a smart financial move in hindsight.
What’s it like on the inside?
Captain Cassidy recently wrote about what it was like growing up as a Pentecostal teenager during the “88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988” scare. On why this kind of thing is effective, she said that being on the inside flatters one’s ego. You know that you’ve got it figured out and the naysayers will get theirs soon enough, and then who’ll be laughing? Chillingly, she observed, “Fear lies at the heart of Christianity, not love.”
I’ll wrap up with this much-mended “The End is nigh!” sign envisioned by Kyle Hepworth. The End has been predicted more often than you may know.
Christians who know that there’ve been other Rapture scares in the past
look at new Rapture scares like other folks look at lottery tickets:
sure, they’ve always failed to win in the past,
but this time might be the big payoff.
The problem is that their payoff happens for the worst reasons
and at the expense of those who disagree with them.
— Captain Cassidy