For This Election Season: How to Say, “I Told You So”

i told you soIn this election season, many of us get into heated political conversations. Or maybe it’s about public policy (such as climate change). Or science education (evolution). Or religion (end times). One frustrating recent example is atheist Bob Price explaining how he’s an enthusiastic Trump supporter.
You might ignore your better instincts and jump into such an argument, but you’ll probably get nowhere. The thing that gives me the most enduring frustration is not being able to say “I told you so” once the evidence is in. That is, when things play out just like you said they would—whether ten days have passed or ten years—you never even get the minimal satisfaction of hearing your antagonist admit that they were wrong. They conform to the new data without that unpleasant I-was-wrong phase.
The point is not to show how smart you are or your superiority (though that might please the ego) but for the antagonist to learn something to create a small hope that they will be less likely to make this kind of mistake again.
Let me add two hopefully obvious clarifications: (1) sometimes the antagonist does indeed admit their error (it’s just that this is rare) and (2) this goes both ways, and it might be us eating the humble pie and learning the lesson.
Commit to a public declaration
So how can we improve our chances of eventual satisfaction? Let’s say that the topic is rabbit overpopulation, and your antagonist is in favor of the upcoming ballot initiative to release radioactive super-weasels to control the rabbit problem.
You list the problems with this approach but your friend disagrees. Then the initiative passes, the weasels are released, and the environmental catastrophe (and untouched rabbit population) plays out like you predicted. When you confront your friend with this, he agrees that it was a disastrous project but denies specifics of both his prior position and your prediction.
The answer is for you to write a shared Public Declaration. This is a short statement summarizing the facts that clearly states what one of you think will or won’t happen and the time frame. It should be unambiguous so that an objective third party could determine who was right. (Of course, you could both be partly right. Or partly wrong.)
Let’s go back to the rabbit overpopulation problem and imagine that it ended with your writing this:

Sigmund Freud and I disagree on the best approach to the rabbit overpopulation problem. Sigmund advocates the radioactive weasels proposal in Initiative 7 on the November, 2016 ballot. I think it will be a terrible idea.
Prediction: I predict that the weasels will (1) have little impact on the rabbit population and (2) have the side effect of endangering the populations of other animals like birds. This is the position of the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC), which has come out against Initiative 7.
Test: Check with the NRDC one year after the proposal has been implemented to see if things turned out how I predicted.
(signed) Friedrich Nietzsche

Here’s what’s good about this statement.

  • It’s specific about the claim: you referred to Initiative 7 on the November ballot, and you predict that if implemented, “the weasels will (1) have little impact on the rabbit population and (2) have the side effect of endangering the populations of other animals like birds.” There’s no need to also summarize your opponent’s position because he simply thinks that you’re wrong.
  • It’s clear on the time frame: judgment day is “one year after the proposal has been implemented.
  • It defines an objective test: use the NRDC’s analysis after the proposal has had time to work. This could be a weakness of this public declaration if the NRDC is seen as biased. Another option might be to predict an editorial confirming your position. It works as long as your opponent agrees on the test. It’s tempting to imagine that “everyone” on this future date will just know who was right, but the lack of a clear test would weaken such a statement.
  • It’s a shared statement. This project works best when you work on it and sign it together.
  • Recording your position for posterity is satisfying, which is better than just walking away frustrated and angry.

Be as specific as possible. Things that are clear and obvious in your mind now could be forgotten by the time the prediction must be evaluated. (Contrast this with the vague and unspecific claims made by biblical prophecies.) Imagine the future judgment day and give yourself a clear and unambiguous statement to work with.
By writing the statement together, each party should be proud, rather than reluctant, to sign it and commit to it.
How can someone forget so important a position?
While you’re arguing with someone, the argument and your position are very, very clear in your mind. (Well, you think things are clear. Simply writing down the issue may reveal a misunderstanding that could advance the discussion.)
While the declaration could prevent your antagonist from lying about their former position once it’s been proven wrong, I think simple forgetfulness is the bigger issue. The Challenger memory experiment makes clear the difference between vivid and accurate memories—just because you have a clear memory of a past incident doesn’t mean that memory is correct. (I write more about this experiment here.)
Implementation
The idea could play out in different ways. This could be as casual as notes on the back of a napkin or cardboard coaster, though something this informal might get lost. It could wind up on a Facebook post (use a consistent phrase, like “public declaration,” so that you can search for it on judgment day). Or maybe there’s a single site, PublicDeclarations.com, that could give a simple template for those who want to boldly plant their flag.
This could work for several kinds of claims.

  • If-then claims such as, “If same-sex marriage is legalized in the U.S., then X will happen” or “If Hillary is elected, then X will happen.”
  • An even simpler claim is, “X will happen,” such as the predictions about the end of the world by John Hagee, Hal Lindsey, and Harold Camping. Another example: “Biologists will realize that evolution doesn’t explain life.”

Since arguments usually distill down to a simple “Yes, it will” vs. “No, it won’t” dichotomy, public declarations could have wide applicability.
What do you think?

We survive by virtue of people extending themselves,
welcoming the young, showing sympathy for the suffering,
taking pleasure in each other’s good fortune.
We are here for a brief time.
We would like our stay to mean something.
Do the right thing.
Travel light.
Be sweet.
Garrison Keillor

Image credit: Jonathan Baker-Bates, flickr, CC

Bible Prophecies: Fulfilled or Fail? (Part 5 of 4)

hugh ross reasons to believe bible prophecyOkay, this is the last post in this series.
Hugh Ross of Reasons to Believe (an old-earth Creationist ministry) claims that the Bible has thousands of fulfilled prophecies, and he gives us his top 13. Let’s continue our critique (part 1 here).
12. “Jahaziel prophesied that King Jehoshaphat and a tiny band of men would defeat an enormous, well-equipped, well-trained army without even having to fight. Just as predicted, the King and his troops stood looking on as their foes were supernaturally destroyed to the last man.”
2 Chronicles 20 tells of a great army approaching Judah. King Jehoshaphat prayed to God, and the prophet Jahaziel reported that God would deliver them. The next day, God caused the individual tribes within the opposing alliance to fight each other until they were all dead.
What is there to say except that it’s a fanciful story? Just like #11, this is a self-contained story with a prophecy. The dating problem is also similar: King Jehoshaphat reigned in the 9th century BCE, while the books of Chronicles document events up to Cyrus the Great allowing the Jews to return after his conquest of Babylon 539 BCE. They were probably written later still, in the 4th century BCE.
Half a millennium passes from event to documentation, and Ross wants us to credulously accept the story as true?
13. King Jeroboam of Israel (922–901 BCE) encouraged worship of deities other than Yahweh. A prophet told him that a future King Josiah of Judah (641–609 BCE) would burn the bones of Jeroboam’s wayward priests on their own altar. And that’s indeed what happened.
The prophecy is in 1 Kings 13:2, and the fulfillment is in 2 Kings 23:15–18. Here Ross is making the same mistake yet again: the two books of Kings were originally one book. It documents events up to the year 560 BCE, and it received its final editing at about that time. There is no prophecy if the prophecy and the fulfillment were edited at the same time.
Hugh Ross’s conclusion
Since the probabilities were stated without justification, I haven’t been critiquing them, but Ross has attached one to each prophecy, from one chance in 105 to one in 1020. They’re outlandish figures, both since they have no justification and because the natural explanation is so obvious, but that doesn’t stop Ross from computing the final probability.

Since these thirteen prophecies cover mostly separate and independent events, the probability of chance occurrence for all thirteen is about 1 in 10138.

Then he talks about how unlikely “the second law of thermodynamics will be reversed in a given situation” and concludes,

Stating it simply, based on these thirteen prophecies alone, the Bible record may be said to be vastly more reliable than the second law of thermodynamics.

(This tangent about thermodynamics is intriguing but irrelevant.) The Christian who wants to accept this as true without considering an alternative view now has a compelling sound bite.

Each reader should feel free to make his own reasonable estimates of probability for the chance fulfillment of the prophecies cited here.

There is no “chance fulfillment of the prophecies” when the natural explanation works fine, but I accept your challenge. 1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1×1 = 1 (rather than 1 in 10138).
Ross wraps up by saying that, given that the Bible is so fabulously correct, the Bible’s 500 upcoming prophecies “will be fulfilled to the last letter.” Who can risk ignoring these upcoming events, missing out on the blessings of Jesus, and blah blah blah?
As I’ve researched each of Ross’s claims, I’ve been amazed at how elementary these mistakes are, and this is from a guy with a doctorate in physics. But perhaps I should be more accustomed to this. We see many scholars skilled in one field who ineptly jump into apologetics. William Lane Craig has two doctorates, and John Lennox and John Warwick Montgomery have three.
You say the Bible has a prophecy from God? First make sure that it avoids the childish mistakes that Ross makes here. Next, makes sure that the prophecy meets the straightforward criteria I explore here—criteria that you’d instinctively demand from any foreign religion or supernatural claim.
Thirteen certainly hasn’t been Hugh Ross’s lucky number. That he had to cite this many rather than offering just one compelling prophecy is a clue that even he thinks they won’t be convincing.
These 13 claimed prophecies have been a useful exercise in seeing what prophecies from a perfect holy book would not look like.

I won’t insult your intelligence
by suggesting you believe what you just said.
— William F. Buckley

Image credit: Wikimedia

Does the Bible Reveal Objective Truth About Homosexuality?

Say you’ve got Christians on two sides of an issue. Maybe some say that abortion is okay and others say that it is not. Some say that capital punishment is okay and others that it’s not. Some say that same-sex marriage is okay and others that it’s not.
What do we make of this? Both sides use the same Bible. Is the Bible then ambiguous?
Before you conclude that it is, consider this exchange during an interview with Greg Koukl (Unbelievable podcast for 7/13/13). A caller asked about ambiguity in the Bible and gave as an example the then-current debate about gay Anglican clergy in civil partnerships becoming bishops. (In the beginning of 2013, the church decided to allow it as long as they remained celibate, though celibacy isn’t demanded of straight priests.) There were honest, well-intentioned Christians in the Anglican and Roman Catholic churches arguing both sides of the debate using the same Bible.
Koukl’s answer
Koukl used arithmetic as a counterexample. Suppose one person argued that 2 + 2 = 4, while another said that 2 + 2 = 9. The honesty and decency of the participants is irrelevant—there are objective truths here, and these two antagonists can’t both be right.
I agree. But are there also objective truths in the gay bishop case? I see none, and I see no evidence that the Bible’s position on this matter is clear.
Koukl says that, like checking which sum is correct, we must look to the Bible to see what it says.

In this regard, there is very little ambiguity as to what the bible teaches … between the Genesis passage, the Leviticus passage, and the Romans passage, there is a very, very clear statement about homosexuality.

That so? Let’s follow up on those Bible references to see what this “clear statement” is.
Old Testament passages against homosexuality?
The Genesis passage is 19:4–9, the Sodom and Gomorrah story. But remove the presupposition that the lesson is “homosexuality is bad” and see what crime actually is. It’s rape. For the details, see my posts here and here. This informs us about the topic at hand—which, let’s remember, is a committed gay couple—not at all.
Strike one.
There are two Leviticus passages.

You must not have sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman; it is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22).
If a man has sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman, the two of them have committed an abomination. They must be put to death; their blood guilt is on themselves (Lev. 20:13).

“Abomination”? Ouch—that sounds pretty harsh. But look at the other things that are labeled in Leviticus as abominations—eating forbidden food, sacrificing blemished animals, performing divination, women wearing men’s clothes, and so on. Clearly, these are ritual abominations, out of date tribal customs. These are bad by definition, not because they actually hurt anyone.
Christians don’t care about these ancient customs today. The logic is that the sacrifice of Jesus got rid of them (see, for example, Hebrews 7:11–12). All right, but let’s be consistent. Get rid of them. Don’t sift through them to keep a few that you’re nostalgic for.
I’ve also written in detail about this here.
Notice also something else that we dismiss today: the punishment for homosexuality, which is death. How can you dismiss the punishment but cling to the crime? If one is abhorrent, what does that say about the other? Without a punishment there is no crime.
Strike two.
New Testament passages against homosexuality?
Finally, here is the Romans passage.

Because of [mankind’s sinful desires], God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. (Rom. 1:26–7)

Notice the verbs here: God “gave them over,” women “exchanged,” men “abandoned.” Paul imagines going from the natural (men with women) to the unnatural. That is, he imagines straight people engaging in homosexual sex. Yes, that is weird. And, strike three, that has no bearing on what we’re talking about: homosexuals doing what comes naturally.
As a postscript on our analysis of the Romans passage, is Paul declaring his position or the position that he rejects? Don M Burrows argues that this passage was a common negative view held by Jews of Gentiles, and, as an apostle to the Gentiles, Paul is refuting this argument.
Koukl’s conclusion
After referring to these passages, which do not address the question at hand, Koukl wraps up:

The evidence is there to come to a clear conclusion about what the spiritual sums are with regard to homosexuality. That people who are dedicated, who pray, who are honest, who have a relationship with God don’t agree on that, does not mean that the text is unclear, and what one needs to do in those kinds of things is go back to the text. This is not a case where God has been hidden in the information.

I’m a little surprised to say this, but I agree with Koukl here. There is no ambiguity. It’s clear both what is said in the Bible and what is not said. These passages say nothing about the case of gay Anglican clergy that is the topic.

This is a case where a lot of people have changed their mind under public pressure.

Social improvement comes from society. We used to chop off hands for stealing, we used to burn witches, and we used to enslave people. It’s not thanks to the Bible (which doesn’t change) but to society (which does) that we’ve put that behind us. “Public pressure” isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and we must weigh the consensus of our community to test our own moral opinions.
The problem is as Koukl identifies it: people reading into the Bible what they want it to say. And Koukl is a great example. He takes the passages from Genesis (that argues that rape is bad), Leviticus (made irrelevant thanks to his savior’s sacrifice), and Romans (which talks about some irrelevant orgy in which straight people dabble with homosexual sex) and concludes that the Bible makes plain that loving gay relationships can’t be embraced by the church.
For people like Koukl, the Bible is a sock puppet that they can make say whatever they want.

To call homosexuality admissible as long it doesn’t include sex
is like the sound of one hand clapping.
Y.A. Warren

(I recommend a resource that has been helpful with this post: “Homosexuality and the Bible” by Rev. Walter Wink.)
(This is an update of a post that originally appeared 7/22/13.)
Photo credit: Chick tracts
 

Bible Prophecies: Fulfilled or Fail? (Part 4 of 4)

hugh ross reasons to believe bible prophecyHugh Ross of Reasons to Believe (an old-earth Creationist ministry) claims that the Bible has thousands of fulfilled prophecies, and he gives us his top 13. Let’s continue our critique (part 1 here).
9. “Jeremiah predicted that despite its fertility and despite the accessibility of its water supply, the land of Edom (today a part of Jordan) would become a barren, uninhabited wasteland.”
Reading the cited passage in Jeremiah (49:15–20), I feel like I’ve been called in to settle a playground dispute. Israel and Edom are arguing and calling each other names. “You think you’re so strong?” Israel says. “My big brother will take care of you!”
Here are a few selections of the bravado. These are coming from God’s mouth:

I will make you small among the nations, despised by mankind.
Edom will become an object of horror; all who pass by will be appalled and will scoff because of all its wounds.
The young of the flock will be dragged away; their pasture will be appalled at their fate.

Ross says that Edom will be made “a barren, uninhabited wasteland.” If you look at a satellite map of where it was—a rough circle from the Dead Sea south to the Gulf of Aqaba—it does look pretty dry.
There’s a lot of trash talking here and in the other passage mentioned (Ezekiel 25:12–14) but no mention of their fertility or water. Did God take away their water? Apparently not, since ancient Edom has always had almost no arable land. In the time of Jeremiah and Ezekiel, its economy was based on the caravan trade.
Ross’s story of fertile farmland suddenly turned into a desert is just a fairy tale.
10. “Joshua prophesied that Jericho would be rebuilt by one man. He also said that the man’s eldest son would die when the reconstruction began and that his youngest son would die when the work reached completion. About five centuries later this prophecy found its fulfillment.”
Ross cites Joshua 6:26. After Joshua’s army had plundered and destroyed Jericho, Joshua is either speaking a curse or making a prophecy against anyone who would rebuild the city:

At the cost of his firstborn son he will lay its foundations;
at the cost of his youngest he will set up its gates.

The fulfilment is in 1 Kings 16:33–4:

In King Ahab’s time, Hiel of Bethel rebuilt Jericho. He laid its foundations at the cost of his firstborn son Abiram, and he set up its gates at the cost of his youngest son Segub, in accordance with the word of the Lord spoken by Joshua.

We can date the prophecy by noting that Joshua came from the 13th century BCE, and we can date the fulfilment by noting that King Ahab came from the 9th century BCE. That sounds good for Ross’s claim except that there is good evidence (the “Deuteronomistic history”) that Joshua, Judges, 1 and 2 Samuel, and 1 and 2 Kings were edited together by one person, creating a unified story from Moses to the destruction of Judah by Babylon (see also Friedman, Who Wrote the Bible? p. 103).
No historical hypothesis can be proven, but the plausible natural explanation that the “fulfilment” was deliberately written to satisfy the “prophecy” destroys Ross’s claim.
11. “The day of Elijah’s supernatural departure from Earth was predicted unanimously—and accurately, according to the eye-witness account—by a group of fifty prophets.”
Ross’s source is 2 Kings 2:3–11. Elisha is tagging along as Elijah makes several visits, and at each stop, local prophets tell Elisha ominous news: “Do you know that the Lord is going to take your master from you today?”
In fact, Elisha did know, though we’re not told why. Did Elijah tell him? Did he know because he was also a prophet?
Anyway, the prophecies do come true: “A chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.”
We’ve not seen this kind of claim so far. Instead of a prophecy in one part of the Bible confirmed in a later book (not that we’ve seen this yet, but that has been Ross’s claim), all we have here is a story contained in one chapter.
Elijah lived during the reign of King Ahab (9th century BCE), while 2 Kings was written in the 6th century BCE. A story is kept alive orally for three centuries, and when it’s written down it has magical events. Why accept that as history?
To be concluded in part 5.

Every image that has ever been projected of God
is a mirror reflecting the age and person or group which produced it.
— Jesuit scholar Ignatius Jesudasan

Image credit: Wikimedia

Bible Prophecies: Fulfilled or Fail? (Part 3 of 4)

hugh ross reasons to believe bible prophecyHugh Ross of Reasons to Believe (an old-earth Creationist ministry) claims that the Bible has thousands of fulfilled prophecies, and he gives us his top 13. I find claims of prophecy particularly interesting as arguments for the truth of the Bible. Bold prophecy claims are often made, but they’re rarely backed up with an argument. And the argument here isn’t from an incoherent sign-carrying wacko but from the founder of a ministry that takes in $4 million per year.
Let’s continue our critique (part 1 here).
7. “The exact location and construction sequence of Jerusalem’s nine suburbs was predicted by Jeremiah about 2600 years ago.” After Israel became a modern state in 1948, “the construction of the nine suburbs has gone forward precisely in the locations and in the sequence predicted.”
Ross points to Jeremiah 31:38–40 for this precise layout of future Jerusalem (helpful interpretations of this unclear passage here and here). One immediate problem is that there is no agreement among modern scholars on the location of most of the landmarks referred to in this passage—the Tower of Hananel, the Hill of Gareb, Goah, and so on. There goes Ross’s claim from his introduction that “there is no room for error.”
A second problem is that when you map out this expanded Jerusalem, it extends the ancient, walled city to the west and south, and maybe a bit to the southeast. But five of Jerusalem’s new suburbs are north of the ancient city. No, there is no connection between what Jeremiah imagined God predicting for Jerusalem and how it actually expanded.
8. Both the Old Testament and the New predict conquest and enslavement. “The prophet Moses foretold (with some additions by Jeremiah and Jesus) that the ancient Jewish nation would be conquered twice and that the people would be carried off as slaves each time, first by the Babylonians (for a period of 70 years), and then by a fourth world kingdom (which we know as Rome). The second conqueror, Moses said, would take the Jews captive to Egypt in ships, selling them or giving them away as slaves to all parts of the world. Both of these predictions were fulfilled to the letter, the first in 607 BC and the second in AD 70. God’s spokesmen said, further, that the Jews would remain scattered throughout the entire world for many generations, but without becoming assimilated by the peoples or of other nations, and that the Jews would one day return to the land of Palestine to re-establish for a second time their nation.”
Ross cites five passages. First, Deuteronomy 29 has Moses cautioning the Israelites to not tolerate anyone within their ranks who worships the gods of other nations. “The Lord will single them out from all the tribes of Israel for disaster” (29:21). As with prophecy #6, this disaster is of the Sodom and Gomorrah type: “The whole land will be a burning waste of salt and sulfur—nothing planted, nothing sprouting, no vegetation growing on it” (29:22–3). Both the singling out of just the backsliders and the fire-and-brimstone punishment conflict with Ross’s view that this describes a conquest by either Babylonians or Romans.
Not only does this not fit Ross’s conquest hypothesis, but the dates don’t work out, either. The Babylonian conquest happened in 605 BCE, with enslavement happening in stages from 597–581. Moses supposedly lived long before that, but Deuteronomy was “discovered” (or planted) by King Josiah in 622 (Friedman, Who Wrote the Bible? p. 116–17), and then it was edited over the next century. Chapter 29 (and more) was added after the end of the exile in 539 BCE. There’s not much of a prophecy when a document written after 539 BCE is accurate about something that happened in 605 BCE.
Second: Isaiah 11 says that a descendant of King David will usher in a time of peace in which “the wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.” It won’t be so peaceful for the countries that Israel conquers, however.
Ross cites 11:11–13, which says that, as part of reuniting Israel, God gathers in scattered people from the twelve tribes. Where’s the fulfillment? Modern Israel exists, but neither this supernatural peace nor Israel conquering Edom, Moab, and Ammon (roughly modern Jordan) has happened. Many Jews have indeed returned to Israel, but less than half of Jews worldwide live there.
Third: Jeremiah 25:11 says, “This whole country will become a desolate wasteland, and these nations will serve the king of Babylon seventy years.” Let’s check some dates: Jeremiah was written 627–586 BCE. The first captives were sent to Babylon in 597, and Cyrus freed them in 539 BCE, which is a captivity of 58 years. If we round it up to the pleasing 70 (seven is the number of completion) by saying that people returned to Judah in stages, have we finally found a prophecy that is sort of correct? Not really, since Jeremiah may have been edited after the exile.
Fourth: Hosea 3:4–5 talks about Israel enduring a long period “without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without [sacred garments] or household gods.” After this, they will return, trembling, to God.
But the exile that this anticipates is that due to the Assyrians, which completed their conquest of Israel in 722 BCE.
(The positive reference to “household gods” may be startling, especially since the Deuteronomy passage cautioned against worshipping the gods of other nations. It’s possible that at this early stage of Judaism, not only were other gods acknowledged, but some gods of limited power could be worshipped along with all-powerful Yahweh. More about Hebrew polytheism here.)
And finally, Luke 21:23–4 talks about the destruction of Jerusalem, but where’s the prophecy? The First Jewish-Roman War ended in 73 CE, and Luke is thought to have been written in 80 CE or later.
Ross really needs to avoid bold claims like “fulfilled to the letter.” Go back and reread all that Ross says is clearly prophesied by these passages to see how badly wrong he got it.
Continued in part 4.

I prayed for freedom for twenty years,
but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.
— Frederick Douglass

Image credit: Wikimedia

Christianity Needs Promotion, Like Soft Drinks

In 1977, the Dr Pepper soft drink was promoted with the slogan, “Be a Pepper.”
The marketing campaign behind that slogan had television commercials with hip, cheerful, attractive people dancing through life with the lines,

I’m a Pepper, he’s a Pepper,
She’s a Pepper, we’re a Pepper,
Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?
Be a Pepper. Drink Dr Pepper.

Parody
A few years later, the Saturday Night Live sketch comedy TV show did a skit* with Laraine Newman playing a teenage girl named Jennifer, sitting on the floor in the family room with the telephone. She calls up strangers from the phone book and encourages them to drink Dr Pepper and asks, “Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?” She gets the polite brush-off that you’d expect from such a marketing call.
After listening to a few of these calls, her parents tell her that she’s changed ever since she became a Pepper. She’s always at Pepper meetings or calling strangers on the phone or going door to door to encourage people to drink Dr Pepper. She doesn’t see her old friends anymore.
After the father says that it would be different if she got paid, she says, “A Pepper would never accept money for this!”
It’s like she’s in a religious cult. What could be crazier? We have consumers of a commercial product spending their own time and resources increasing the sales of that product, with the only compensation being accolades from fellow believers or perhaps just the knowledge that important work had to be done, and they pitched in to help.
Christianity
We’re more familiar with earnest evangelists within Christianity, but that doesn’t make them any more sensible. They’re told to get out and increase Christianity’s market share, and many do it without pay. Does this make any more sense than Jennifer’s project?
Would you be motivated if the paid staff of Dr Pepper encouraged you to spread the word? Why be any more motivated if the paid staff of the Catholic church or Baptist church or Lutheran church made the same request?
The Great Commission
The typical response is that Christians are obliged to spread the word, but average Christians shouldn’t flatter themselves that Jesus gave them the Great Commission. The gospel of Matthew ends with the eleven disciples at an offsite with Jesus. Jesus said, “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:18), but this was clearly addressed to those eleven disciples.
To Christians who think that evangelism is important, remember that it was important to Jennifer, too. Is your project any better supported by logic?
See also: The Great Commission and How It Doesn’t Apply to You

Satan deceives us into voluntarily laying aside 
our best weapons of logic and evidence, 
thereby ensuring unawares modernism’s triumph over us.
— William Lane Craig, Reasonable Faith

* The skit is from s5e16 on 4/12/80. The video is here (skip to 49:00), but Hulu Plus is required.
(This is an update of a post that originally appeared 7/17/13.)
Image credit: Ben Sutherland, flickr, CC